I wear my own shoes best...

Wow! Its been a long time since I've posted on here! I just got busy and life took over my time. Well since I posted last time, alot has happened. We got a puppy, named Morgan; We found our cat that has been missing for 3 months! He was taken from us, and the person who took him then turned him in to the humane society and we saw him at Petsmart and he was up for adoption!! We had to re-adopt him, but he is home now, safe and sound.

Also, I learned that I am only human and I need to be more humble. I also learned to walk in my own shoes, and to not try to do to much. I was having problems with a person I know and I thought I knew better and was doing all I could to change the situation by nearly sabbatoging their reputation with a person who could do something about it and then I decided to spend a day in their shoes...I was changed that day, I didnt realize that maybe they are doing they best they can and maybe they dont know how to be different or how to try harder. And I would be SO pissed if someone tried to make the same thing happen to me! I didnt realize how much it could and would affect someone!

Walking in my own shoes means that I need to learn my specifiic spot in life. I am not a parent and not a spouse and I'm not commited to anyone or anything, other than my payments and dog. So I need to step away from the parent roll and embrace me, as a soon to be 19 year old college student who really has no worries and no reason to stress about life. But I dont think that I know how. Lydia(8 year old sister) told me that she didnt think of me as her sister, instead of as her mom. She said she doesnt know why, but God told her she has to love me with more than a sibling love, more like a parent. It made me stop to think that maybe she, and my other siblings, do pay more attention to what I do and what I say more than I origianlly thought.

I am sooo unfocused tonight. Its impossible to write more right now.

:)

BBFN, Emily

Welcome to two-oh-one-one

OhMyGod! I cannot believe that I am alive and kickin' in 2011! I can't believe we are officially finished with the first week and that we only have 51 left! A week ago I was tearing up because I didnt want to let go of 2010 and all the amazing/horrible/great/sad things that happened.
I'll go through a few of the main ones for my new followers and friends. 1-raced some of the western hare scrambles series. 2-Got a job. 3-Graduated High School. 4-Bought a car and dirtbike. 5- Maxed out 2 credit cards. 6-Rode MX for the first time ever. 7- Held hands with a dead guy who I tried to save. (Ok, so I cant put that without elaborating, but I really am not in a place to recall that whole memory right now-so, ask me later). 8-Decided I needed to go back to church. 9- Found that I cannot count on people, even if they pinky-promised. 11-Voted for the first time ever! 10- and most of all, I found out exactly who I am.

I am Emily, an 18 year old who has lived in hell and been to heaven. A person who has never broke a bone, but has had their everything crushed. A girl who thought she was in love and trusted the wrong guy with too much and forgot to love the right guy.
In 2010, I learned to love me for me. And to take everything that everyone says to my heart. I learned to keep secrets and I learned to tell the truth. I keep saying that I dont care what people say about me, but I do. What people think about you is how you get places in life. If people think that you are a low-life scum, they arent going to give you half as much as they would if they thought you were some rich executive somewhere, or if they thought you were really pretty and perfect in everyway. The best way to get someone to like you for you is to love yourself. It is the hardest and most painful thing to do, but it is SO worth it.

2011, two-oh-one-one, twenty-eleven, the year before the world will end, this year has SO many names. So far, this year has been the year of letdowns, downfalls and reasons to walk away. Letdowns: being stood-up more than once by someone after promises have been made to make that day happen, royally SUCK! Downfalls: Not being where I expected to be this year is also a big SUCK! And reasons to walk away: I will not and never will send dirty pictures! Why do guys not get that? If I said 'no' once, then I'm sure I'll say no the next million times you ask! I chose to not be friends with you unless you quit asking. So you quit asking, for 2 days!! Then you delete me on FB when I dont send them? Real mature! Your WAY older than me, and I cannot get over the age difference, so therefore I will not do anything, send anything or say anything! Get over it!

I cannot wait to see what this year brings. Even though I am still pretty weak, very emotional and still a baby in the way I handle things. God wont take me through anything I cant handle. So I have to trust him 100 and 10% all the time. Even when I think I know better. And even though I thought I would be 30-something when I said this; Dad was right more times than not, and he does know what he is talking about for the most part. He isnt always the best 'mom', but he does try hard and thats a whole lot more than I've had before. I love him and I hope he knows that I would do anything for him and our famn damily, even if I roll my eyes everytime he tells me to drive safe. Dad, I love you alot :)

I hope to update this about once a week. So check back next friday.
Love you all and thanks for being in my life,
-Em :) <3